In our never ending quest to give guys the edge they need in ALL facets of life, we bring you the wisdom and experience of a super fine Dudette, who’s here to help prevent you from doing some really stupid s**t in your dating life. She has seen every type of guy do every type of crap on a date, so when she says avoid doing something, take her advice. She knows what she’s talking about. And while Hey Dude products like Dude Wash do an awesome job to make you look and feel your best to give you that EDGE, they can’t replace what you do, or what comes out of your mouth.
Kelly is Hey Dude’s resident Dudette blogger. She’s a 24 year old 5’7” hottie with long dark hair, a gorgeous smile, and she rocks many a poolside with her bikini body. She’s from Ohio, where she works for a market research company, but she has also done her research when it comes to the dating scene. Kelly is on a higher calling to make sure as many guys know how to treat their ladies as possible. Keep your dial on this blog and visit us regularly, because she has a LOT to say.
How to be the Ultimate Dude
So you think you got what it takes to be a Dude? As a Dudette myself, I know that it’s tough to maintain your Dude factor 24/7, especially in certain circumstances like a first date. Lucky for you, I’m here to give you an inside look into the female psyche so you can channel your studly spunk, impress the ladies, and land yourself a hottie.
Now since you are checking out the Hey Dude Skin Care website and buying their products, I already know you are well on your way to full-fledged Dudification. But, let me still ask you this: Have you ever gone on a date and had it crash and burn? Thought you had a girl pegged only to be left mystified? Were sure you would get some, but couldn’t close? Good news – I’ve got the answers.
You may be wondering what my Dudette credentials are. Here I am claiming to be full of Dude-worthy counsel, but how can you trust that I know the moves to woo your sexy coworker or melt the hottie you make steamy eye-contact with at the gym? Long-story short, I’ve experienced a lot since my initial advance into the dating world, which began way back in 1999 with Robbie Smith underneath the playset rock wall (Robbie earned some major points on his man card that day). Since then, I’ve wisened up, and as a twenty-something girl who has been on countless dates with every type of man imaginable, I’ve got the essential tips you need to go from zero to Dude after just one date.
I’ll keep Dudette Dating Tip #1 short and sweet after my long-winded intro above. All you need to do to make a great first impression with a girl is to find your style then own it. If you’re touting an intoxicating aura of confidence, your date will sense it, and trust me, find it sexy.
And if you’re not sure where to turn to find some sexy swag, Hey Dude is here to help. A little Dude Cleansing Shave Gel, some Dude Wash with TWO pheromones, and before you know it girls could be swooning over your self-assurance. Tip #1 is a cinch, so you’ll have to check my next post for more explicit details and advice. It’s time to get down and dirty, my Dudes.
Oh those pesky first date jitters. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll be oozing confidence once you begin your Hey Dude regimen, but even the most secure guys can get anxious before a first date. Nerves often show themselves in the most un-Dude like ways; sweaty palms, a tapping foot, and worst of all stuttering, forced small talk. So how can you prevent your cotton mouth from cock-blocking you? It’s all about being an exceptional conversationalist.
A good conversationalist doesn’t just talk a lot; in fact, a talkative person can be downright deplorable at conversing. I had disastrous date with a wannabe Dude, prone to self-centered rambling, and who inundated me with endless drinking stories from his boorish frat boy days. Like any party-loving Dudette, I typically enjoy entertaining recollections about “Animal House” escapades; however, my date’s real downfall was never culminating his anecdotes with a polite “and what about you?” inquiry. Dudette Dating Tip #2: I could care less how many beers you can bong in a row, unless you ask me my record in return.
So Dudes, the key to a good conversation? Pretend you’re playing 20 questions. Ask about her hobbies, her go-to Karaoke song, her favorite Beatle, whatever your burning heart desires to know; the more creative the better. You aren’t off the hook yet though. You also have to spill some of the details that make you the Dude that you are. I’m not saying open up about your most serious experiences; just share a little taste of your life to leave her craving the main course. Cha-ching – you just landed a second date, Chef Sexy.
You know, thinking back, I wish that loquacious date of mine would have posed just one question to me: what is my biggest pet peeve. Typically my answer is when the bottoms of my jeans get wet in the rain, but in this instance, I would have replied that my biggest pet peeve is douches like him. Zing! Dudette point for me.
The Pretty Boy
I adore a well-groomed Pretty Boy as much as the next girl. He smells fabulous, he is stylish, and he makes damn good arm candy. I had a date with a Pretty Boy this past fall that began with a lot of promise, so do remember the good aspects of what I am about to share, but also take note of where things went wrong. He invited me pumpkin picking one gorgeous afternoon and I must say, he looked quite good doing so in his strategically planned Urban Outfitters plaid. As he carried our perfect pumpkin to the car, his toned arms flexing with effort, I had high hopes for some x-rated bonding over the laborious carving about to ensue.
My excitement mounted at home as we brought out the necessary utensils for creating a kick-ass jack-o-lantern, and I eagerly assumed what I thought to be a fairly sexy, surgeon-esque stance over our orange friend. “You ready to get your hands dirty?” I purred. This is where the situation turned sour, for his response was not the subtle sexual innuendo I was hoping for. Instead, it was a look of abject horror followed by a stiff reply with pursed, disgusted lips, “I’ll pass. I don’t want to get pumpkin mush all over me, but I’m good at baking. I’ll bake the seeds!” And so, the rest of the date ensued platonically with me gutting and carving a pumpkin masterpiece, and my date scurrying around the kitchen baking the seeds. Dating Tip #3: Man Up.
Yes, the moral of the story here is that us girls love for you boys to look good. By all means, spruce yourself up and let us show you off! The prettier the better in my opinion. But if I get a flat tire, you better know how to change it. If I need some curtains hung, bring over your power tools and show me what you can do. And by God if I want to carve a pumpkin you stick your manly hands right into that goo. Because even doing the simplest macho task like opening a jar of spaghetti sauce is a total turn on for a girl. If you show us you are a strong, virile, man who can take care of our needs out of the bedroom, then we are all the more convinced you can get the job done in the bedroom too. I’d say that’s worth the risk of pumpkin guts getting on your favorite pair of jeans, but then again, that’s up to you.
Although, for what it’s worth, my pretty boy did make a delicious batch of pumpkin seeds. Yum.
Gifting is a tricky art to master. What occasions deserve a gift? What level of gift extravagance do said occasions deserve? What should you get the gorgeous girl you have been dating and are desperately trying to win over and/or get into bed?? Well I am not just going to spout off the gift that will have her knickers off in 2.5 seconds at the very start of this post! You suckers are going to have to read the whole, overly-verbose exposition to reach such coveted advice.
Let’s start with the usual gifting suspects. Flowers. Chocolates. A stuffed animal of any kind touting a heart that says “Overkill!”, oh, I mean that says “I Luv You!” – kind of like a lot of guys do on Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, no matter what rung on the dating spectrum you fall, most girls can sense when you are doing something cliché because you assume such actions will secure post-date canoodling. However, sticking to the textbook won’t keep us interested – the key is to surprise us with something that we haven’t seen in the movies.
Dating Tip #4, with gifting, make it personalized, stems from the benevolence of a sweethearted dweeb I dated who had just the right amount of sexy intrigue beneath all his bookish charm to make him a bonafide dude. Gotta hand it to the nerds out there – much more creative than some brainless mongaloid driven by only the need to sow his genetically sub-par seed.
Anyways, we had been dating for about two months and our several most recent hang-outs consisted of me confessing my overwhelming sense of nervousness over the upcoming start of my new job. The night before my first day he showed up with a good luck gift – fun knick knacks for my desk, one of those swanky pens that doctors usually pompously scribble prescriptions with, and a word of the day calendar to foster my passion for slipping ridiculously obscure terms into common conversation, a fun fact which I had recently confessed to him (guess I’m a nerd too). All in all, the gift was creative. It was thoughtful. And it was personalized, not in a Things Remembered monogramed initials way, but in a relevant to what is happening in my life way. That’s the kind of personalized worthy of knicker-removal , boys.
Oh and you know what else is a fabulous gift fit for any girl? Go buy yourself some Dude Wash from Hey Dude. A sexy smelling man is the best kind. That’s one swoonworthy gift if I ever saw…er smelled one. You want to get a hottie like me? Look good AND smell good.
The Artist, The Planner, The Complimenter, and many more to come….
Which of these Dudes will describe you best? Blog back to us and keep the conversation rolling -